Seen, Heard & Unapologetic: How Shadow Work & Expanders Transformed My Mindset

Why embracing my inner chaos, surrounding myself with authenticity, and releasing fear changed everything

January was a month of deep self-discovery as I fully embraced my emotional wave and leaned into my emotional authority like never before. My natal chart painted a clear picture—this was my season to channel CREATIVITY in new and expansive ways. It was in this space of alignment that the idea to share more of my life’s themes sparked within me. As someone with a 3 in my Human Design profile, I’m no stranger to trial and error, and I felt inspired to share beyond my usual connection to music. You’ll notice shifts in my content and format as I continue this journey, but one thing will always remain the same—my commitment to sharing my life’s lessons in hopes of offering insight, inspiration, and valuable tools that may resonate with your soul’s path. So, I invite you to stick around and explore this evolving space with me.

Owning My Inner Chaos

“When we take the time to integrate our shadow aspects, that’s where the real freedom, happiness, authenticity and magnetism comes.” - To Be Magnetic

When we are able to identify the root of a shadow ie. where/when that shadow started growing therefore causing you shame and disrupting your ability to show up as your full, authentic self, you are able to start integrating your shadow aspects.

Normally, I can pinpoint a shadow when I’m feeling embarrassment, shame, guilt, low self-worth, or when I feel hypervigilant before speaking or acting in an environment. “The part of your personality you don’t want to see” is a beautiful way Dr.Tara Swart explained it on the To Be Magnetic (TBM) podcast. I highly recommend listening to the TBM Podcast to learn more about shadow. Shadows are masks we wear, both “good” and “bad”, to feel accepted, loved, and safe in the current world we live in and shadows are opportunities to become your most magnetic self.

Lately, the shadow that I’ve been working through is:

Suffering in my silence is safer than being seen

Here are some of the tools that supported me in my shadow work in January:

The "Let Them" Theory: Releasing the Fear of Being Seen

One of the biggest obstacles to showing up as my authentic self is the fear of what others might say or do in response. The anxiety of being seen—truly seen—can be paralyzing. But lately, I’ve found a powerful mantra that helps me push through: Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory.

With the release of her latest book, Mel Robbins seems to be everywhere—popping up in my feed, showing up in conversations, and making her way into my thoughts at just the right moments. And when fear starts whispering doubts in my mind, I can practically hear her voice loud and clear:

“If they want to think (XYZ) about you… LET THEM.”

Conversations That Shift Perspective

This idea really landed for me during a conversation with my Karmic Mirror co-host, Michelle. She asked a question that I now keep in my back pocket for those moments when the fear of judgment creeps in:

“Would they win that battle in court?”

It’s such a simple yet profound shift. If someone were saying, She’s this. She’s that.—would they actually have any solid evidence? Probably not. So why am I letting an imaginary courtroom drama play out in my head?

Reading, Meditation & Journaling: Tools for the Soul

I’ve also been diving deep into self-exploration through Gabby Bernstein’s latest book, Self Help, and her app. Her teachings help me recognize where my shadows come from, how my soul tries to protect itself, and what I can do to release those old, limiting patterns. Through meditation, journaling, and intentional reflection, I’m learning to step into my highest self—one breath, one thought, one page at a time.

Expanding My Mind: How Surrounding Myself with Expanders Transformed My Shadow Work

I’ve always known the power of community, but recently, I’ve learned just how critical it is to surround myself with people who show up unapologetically authentic. In the To Be Magnetic (TBM) community, there’s a concept that has completely reshaped my mindset: Seeing truly is believing.

Our brains are wired to mirror what we see. When we witness someone embodying deep self-love and unshakable confidence, our neural pathways start to shift. It’s as if the mind whispers, Oh… this is possible for me too. So, I made a conscious effort to connect with people in my community who exude these qualities—to immerse myself in their energy and, in turn, expand my own.

But one experience, in particular, took my expansion to the next level.

The Giggly Squad Effect

Attending the Giggly Squad Live Show at Radio City Music Hall was nothing short of transformational. Hosts Paige DeSorbo and Hannah Berner have played a massive role in my journey—not just because they’re hysterically funny, but because they embrace their flaws, fears, and fumbles with bold, refreshing honesty. They are still touring if you have any interest in being surrounded by the dopest energy and love laughing until you cry! It also doesn’t hurt that I have the dopest friends who super imposed me into Paige and Hannah’s post so that I truly felt like part of their “Squad”.

The Takeaway

People will always have their own narratives, their own judgments, their own opinions. But I don’t have to carry the weight of them. If they want to think something about me? Let them. Because at the end of the day, my truth isn’t up for debate.

I’ll leave you with a song that perfectly captures the essence of shadow work—Kesha’s unapologetic anthem about keeping negativity far from your light. This album was on repeat for me during COVID, and every time I hear it, I’m reminded of the power in reclaiming my energy. Kesha’s spin on telling others to keep their shadows away from her sunshine is the ultimate reframe—one that I find wildly empowering as I navigate my own shadow work.

Because at the end of the day, we all have the right to shine—unapologetically, fully, and freely. 🌞✨